Unfortunately, the Sunbeams had to beat Oakland in order for that to happen. That causes me great conflict.
But the Sox fared well against the Marginals, so at least they held their ground. And the Injuns beat the Halos, so the Rangers even gained a game on them.
The Evil Empire is too close to us. I'm planning on that changing this weekend. I like what you call them, Ted. I just can't put that here because some of my church members read this.
(Hi, Kathy!!)
Looks like we will get to see the Mighty Beckett pitch, followed by Wakey and Lestah.
Dear God, please let the Red Sox sweep the Yankees. And please let us see a no-no. I'm not asking for much...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When I'm King of the World...
>>the Yankees will not be allowed to have any players under 50...
>>The Red Sox will always get the number one draft pick...
>>Bud Selig will be exiled for crimes against humanity and impersonating a baseball commissioner...
>>The Tampa Bay team will have to put "Devil" back in their name....
>>Ozzie Guillen will have to stand in the batter's box and be pummelled by every pitcher on every other team in the majors...
>>The strike zone will be returned to its original position, that is, from the armpits to the knees...
>>All players will be required to sign autographs before every game. The game needs to be about the fans again...
>>All owners will be required to lower concession prices at the ballparks. There is no excuse for a coke to cost $4.50 or a beer to cost $6.00...
>>No more promotions given to "the first 20,000 fans." Everyone who attends will get the promotion...This would not apply at Fenway Park, as they don't need promotions to encourage attendance.
>>Instant replay will be instituted in baseball for disputed calls...there will be no discussion about it "making a game too long." I do not understand what that phrase, "making a game too long" means. How can a baseball game be "too long??"
>>Owners will be allowed to eject umpires from their ballparks for really bad calls...if the above-mentioned instant replay shows the call to be wrong, ejection will be automatic. They'd better have plenty of back-up umpires.
>>Every throw to first base by a pitcher to try to keep a runner on first will be counted as a ball.
>>Both leagues will have the same rules. Either both will have designated hitters, or both will not. I don't really care, let's just make it the same. And the umpires will not look at different places over the catcher. How can there be a consistent strike zone when one league's umpires are looking over the catcher's shoulder and the other league's are looking over his head???
>>There will be NO MORE FREAKIN' MAPLE BATS!! Enough, already!
>>Scott Boras will be sent to Mars...no, Jupiter...no, Uranus. He will NOT be given a space suit...
>>Jason Giambi will be (CENSORED)(CENSORED)(CENSORED)...
>>A-Rod will be left alone. He doesn't need any help at all screwing up his own life...
>>Opening Day will be a national holiday. Of course, it will have to be a local holiday, too, since "Opening Day" happens at different times in different cities...however, the official Opening Day of the season will be a holiday for everyone. Not counting that silly Sunday night game, of course. Or any ridiculous games in Japan, either.
>>There will be no more MLB games in Japan. That was just silly. Unless of course, the Japanese decide to join the MLB, then they can participate in what will truly be a "World Series."
>>Basketball season will be drastically shortened. The season will consist only of the playoffs, which will include all the teams, since only 4 of them don't get in anyway. Each team will be given 100 points and two minutes. The season will be required to be over before Opening Day of baseball season.
>>Football will not be allowed to start training camp before baseball season is over. Baseball will have its own exclusive seven months. All the other sports can share the rest of the year.
>>ESPN will not be allowed to show reruns of football games when there is a baseball game to air. Who on earth wants to watch reruns of football games, anyway???
I will gladly take suggestions from fellow Red Sox fans. I had another really good one, but it went away...I kept getting interrupted by work. *grumble*
Obviously, I'm having some great fun with this, but some of those ideas are actually serious. Especially the one about Scott Boras...
BAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
*whew* That was close! While I was up doing work stuff, my computer decided to reboot itself. Thank goodness for the auto-save feature in Blogspot!! I wouldn't have been able to remember all of that stuff...
TTFN, y'all!!
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
OMG, the Rangers Are In Second Place!!!
Posted by Bickley at 12:33 AM
Labels: Boston Red Sox, Bud Selig, Evil Empire, Scott Boras, Tampa Bay Sunbeams, Texas Rangers
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
7 comments:
No worries, Bickley. Although I just found out the other week my pastor reads my blog!!! He hasn't asked me to turn in my membership yet, so I think I'm good.
I loved the list you compiled; but can we change their minimum age to 60?
Getting excited for you and your family and the Fenway pilgramage!
Hi Jeff! you caught me. Melinda reads yor blog also. It is quite entertaining. Are you proud to be a rangers fan today? ha
Ted...sure. 60 it is. But no walkers. But I'm checking I.D.s. Don't want any 40 year old guys pretending to be 60.
Kathy! Yes, I was proud to be a Rangers fan. As I was during the All Star festivities. However, the took a whoopin' from ChiSox tonight! 10-2. Ugh.
Thoughts in your rules:
1. Don't the Yankees already have that rule anyway? (Not counting Joba & Phil Hughes, one of whom has his own rules & the other who cannot stay healthy anyway so he might as well be 50.)
2. The one about promotions: Did you know that at the Trop, it's not just the "first 20,000 fans" but they don't count you as a fan if they can tell you're there to cheer for the visiting team. Not that I want a tie-dyed Rays tshirt anyway.
3. Does the throw to first count as a ball if you pick off the runner?
4. I vote for the DH. I need Papi in the lineup but I don't want to give up Youk. Plus? Five words for you: Bartolo Colon with a bat.
5. I am dying over your basketball rule. Especially the part about there being only 4 teams that don't make the playoffs.
6. I am a little less fond of your football rule. I agree that the overlap is horrible. It kills me to keep track of two teams simultaneously. That being said, I would love it if football went from October through March instead of September through February. They can play football playoffs while baseball is in Spring Training, right?
And two of my own:
1. I should not have to see either Manning brother's face during baseball season. Baseball season should be a respite from Peyton & Eli since they get rammed down my throat during the entire NFL season.
2. Joe Buck, Joe Morgan & the two dolts that announce Sunbeams games need to be sent where ever we're sending Boras. *Please*.
Oh I forgot to tell you. Know what the Sunbeams are bribing fans with lately? $5 gas cards & a post-game concert by MC Hammer. I am NOT kidding you. I can forward you the email that proves it.
Also amusing? They go on & on about all the loyal Rays fans. I have to tell you, I think there were about 100 people in attendance of this most recent series against Oakland. The stands were a sea of empty blue seats. Makes you wonder huh? ;-)
Dawn, those two dinks who call the Rays games are an insult to good announcers everywhere.
I especially agree with the one about Joe Buck. He works for Fox, too, and I can't stand those guys!
As for the DH, yeah, I lean more towards that way. I remember Pedro in the '04 series. Never took his bat off his shoulder. He said he wouldn't, either.
Ok. Football can have playoffs during Spring training.
And I remember you telling us that part about the Rays not giving the promotions to the opposing fans. That's just wrong. And, yeah...those "loyal fans." I've seen the attendance at that place. It's horrid. And MC Hammer????
BAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
You can also have your Manning rule. We will call it..."The Manning Rule." How's that?
I love you guys, you know that? I'm glad to have met y'all over here.
Post a Comment